


rumors only grow

by bi_lovely



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Era, Historical Inaccuracy, Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, alex and thomas knew each other before the war, and its got a sneaky lil greys anatomy reference in there, as usual, burr is just so confused, but here he is a HUGE dick, i could turn this into a long fanfic but i dont have the energy, i love him and usually write him as a lil bean, its basically "we know" but gayer, james madison is kind of a dick, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8375452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_lovely/pseuds/bi_lovely
Summary: “Tell us, Hamilton,” Madison said. “Do you know what the word ‘sodomy’ means?”“Shut the fuck up, Madison,” Alexander hissed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! I'm finally posting some jamilton because even though lams is life I absolutely LIVE for alexander and Thomas <3<3
> 
> So basically, this was the first jamilton fanfic I ever started (actually the first Hamilton fanfic) and it was gonna be this big long chaptered thing but I ended up hating it and deleting every chapter I had written EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE!!
> 
> So just to give you some info since it is supposed to be part of a bigger picture (even though I think it's all pretty self-explanatory); thomas and alexander knew one another before the war and they fell in love, but then Thomas went to france and alex went to fight in the war and they were separated for years; the they're reunited and they piss each other off with their political views, but they can't deny that they're still mad for one another so even though alex is married they start sleeping together and writing hella love letters; Madison finds said love letters (yikes) and then Adams Administration happens and here we were at the beginning of our story!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!
> 
> All the love xx

“Well, this is great,” Thomas lied. “He’s out of power and he just destroyed the only other significant member of his party. We’re done with him at last.”

“Not so fast, Thomas,” James said. “Hamilton is a host unto himself, as long as he can hold a pen he’s a threat; let’s let him know what we know.”

“Excellent idea, Mr. Madison,” Burr nodded. “We want to make sure that he is truly out of our hair for good. In fact, let’s go pay him a visit right now.”

“I hardly think this is necessary,” Thomas said. 

“I find it exceedingly necessary,” James said, then turned to Burr who was looking rather impatient at the holdup. “Why don’t you go on ahead, Senator Burr? Thomas and I will be with you in just a few moments.”

Burr eyed him and Thomas suspiciously, but nodded and did as James had suggested. 

As soon as he was sure Burr was out of earshot, James turned to his best friend with a ferocious look in his eyes. “What are you playing at, Thomas? We have to shut Hamilton up for good — and —” he looked around to make sure no one was nearby, that Burr hadn’t come back to eavesdrop, and he dropped his voice to a whisper, “ — and you told me that you and Hamilton were involved years ago, but there was nothing going on between the two of you now. That  _ is  _ still true, isn’t it, Thomas?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Thomas lied. 

“The letters that I found in Hamilton’s desk from his — er —  _ male friend _ , they aren’t from you, are they?” James asked, his stare piercing and inquisitive.

“No!” Thomas said but there was a small tremor in his voice and he was sure that he’d given himself away now, so when James spoke next he didn’t bother denying anything. 

“Don’t lie to me, Thomas!” James growled and Thomas, though much taller and physically stronger, cowered away. “Burr thought that it wasn’t necessary to read through every single letter that was in that desk but I knew better. He was perfectly satisfied with having dirt on Hamilton and Hamilton alone but I wanted to know if this man he’s been seeing was who I expected it might be. I really can’t believe you, Thomas. Is this what you meant when you told him you know him? That you’d known one another before you sailed off to France?”

“James —” 

“Your sworn enemy, of all people!”

“But you don’t understand! You don’t get it!”

“I don’t need to,” James snapped. “I don’t need to understand anything except that it is illegal and disgusting. And the only things that you need to understand are that we will take Hamilton down with this information, you will not interfere, and you will end anything that is going in between the two of you. If you fail to do so, I will personally write a paper all about you and your endeavors in Hamilton’s bed — don’t bother to give me that look, you know that I’ve read the letters, I know what you’ve done with him — and I will have it published as quickly as possible.”

“James!” Thomas said, horrified. “You’re supposed to be my friend!”

“I am your friend,” James said. “And that’s why I’m doing this. You need to come to your senses, Thomas, and if it takes a little bit of tough love to get you there then that’s just what I’ll give you.” 

James walked away then, without another word. 

Thomas followed reluctantly and dread pooled into the pit of his stomach as he thought more and more about what was about to happen with every step he took. 

Alexander was, unsurprisingly, in his office, and his wife was out with the children. He looked up when three men walked into the room, unannounced and uninvited. 

“Mr. Vice President.” Alexander’s eyes fell on Thomas first, trying to search his eyes in less than a moment to figure out what was going on. “Mr. Madison. Senator Burr.” He looked at all of them for another moment before asking, “What is this?”

“Well, you see, Alexander,” Burr said slowly, and he looked to James who pulled a wad of letters from inside his coat pocket. 

When Alexander’s eyes fell on the letters in James’s hand, his mouth actually fell open. “Where —” he paused, cleared his throat, “ — where did you get those?”

“From your desk,” James nodded to the desk Hamilton was still seated behind. 

Alexander leapt to his feet, eyes wild and angry. “So what I’m hearing is that you broke into my house and stole my personal property? I could —”

“You can’t do anything to us now, Hamilton, and you know it,” Burr shook his head. “Not now that we know what’s inside these letters.” 

Alexander only let his eyes fall on Thomas for a moment; he was standing there, not far behind Madison and Burr, with his arms crossed and a sad look in his eyes. 

“You don’t have anything at all,” Alexander snapped at Burr and Madison defiantly. 

“Oh, don’t we?” Madison raised his eyebrows. 

Burr plucked one of the letters from the pile in Madison’s hand, opened it up, and read aloud, “‘ _ My darling, Please be so kind as to meet me in the park after the sun has set. I have something important to show you. You will have to be quiet for once, my dear, for we’ll need to ensure that we remain alone. With eternal love, Your darling. _ ’”

“That proves nothing,” Alexander snapped. “I’ll have you know that letter is from my wife.”

“Sounds a little scandalous and straightforward to be a woman,” Burr said. 

“My wife has always been a woman of her own kind,” Alexander sneered. “Now, if you would be kind enough as to give my private property back to me and leave my home which you were never invited into —”

“Not so fast, Hamilton, not so fast,” Madison said. He took one letter from the pile and handed it over to Burr. 

Burr open the letter and read aloud, over pronunciating every syllable; “‘ _ My darling, I knew that your cravings for me were insatiable but what extent I had not any clue until just now. Now your letter has told me all that I need to know. Why, it has been just hours since I took you into your own bed and ruled you for a short but precious time. Already you, and I quote you, long for me to escort you to bed and take you beneath the covers once more. I almost feel sorry for all of the other men practicing sodomy in the world  _ —’”

“That’s enough,” Alexander choked. He was bending over his desk, staring down at the polished wood and trying desperately to find a way out of this disaster. 

“Tell us, Hamilton,” Madison said. “Do you know what the word ‘sodomy’ means?”

“Shut the fuck up, Madison,” Alexander hissed. “Fine, you’ve dug up my deepest, darkest secret. Now what? What do you plan to do with this information? What do you want from me?”

“We don’t ever want to see another one of your works of writing in the paper again,” Burr said firmly. “If we do, we will tell the whole world what we know.”

“And the first person to find out will be your wife,” Madison added. 

Alexander stared at the two of them, making sure not to lay his eyes on Thomas who was standing several feet away in silence with his hands clasped firmly together to keep them from visibly shaking. Alexander kept his eyes hard and glaring.

“Gentlemen, let’s go,” Madison said and turned from Hamilton. 

“Wait!” Alexander shouted before he could stop himself, and Madison and Burr turned back, eyebrows raised. 

“I —” 

_ Shit,  _ he thought to himself,  _ why did I do that? This isn’t going to help my cause in the slightest! _

But he was desperate. 

“Can I have the rest of the letters back?” Alexander asked and for the first time since any of these three men had known him, he looked truly helpless. Thomas felt his heart swelling in his chest.

Burr opened his mouth to say something but before he could, Alexander spoke again; “You have the one that proves everything you want to tell the public if the need presents itself. You have no use for the rest of them.” He was letting on just how desperate he was, he knew it, and he hated it.

Madison and Burr glanced at one another and shrugged. Madison carelessly tossed the stack of letters at Alexander who tried to catch as many as he could, falling to the floor to pick them all up. “You  _ disgust  _ me, Alexander Hamilton,” Madison spat.

“Mr. Vice President, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet in this matter,” Burr said. “Do you have anything to had?”

Thomas watched Alexander scrambling to collect all of the letters into a neat pile. He throat was tight, his heart thrumming nervously against his ribs as he looked up to Burr. “No,” he shook his head. 

“As I suspected,” Madison snapped and Burr looked between them, puzzled and wondering if perhaps they had quarreled earlier in the day. “Let’s go.”

Burr walked out first, then Thomas reluctantly followed Madison. He was quickly stopped, however, when Madison turned and placed a hand flat against his chest. “End it, Thomas,” he said warningly, “or else.” With that, he turned and stalked away, leaving Thomas alone with Alexander. 

The Virginian slowly crossed the room to where the immigrant was stacking the countless love letters that he’d kept — Thomas had never known that he kept every single one right there in his office, in his home. 

“Alexander,” he said slowly. 

“What am I going to do?” Alexander asked as he got to his feet, setting the stack of letters down on his desk carefully. “What am I going to do now? I can’t stop writing, but I can’t —” he sighed heavily, burying his face in his hands. “And what about you, Thomas?”   


“What about me?” Thomas raised his eyebrows. 

“Do you they know that you’re the one who wrote the letters?”

“Oh,” Thomas sighed. “James does, Burr doesn’t.”

“What did Madison say?” Alexander asked. 

“Why are you asking me all of this?” Thomas asked. “Aren’t you more worried about yourself? You’re the one who’s just been threatened. Stop focusing on me; we need to figure out a plan, figure out how we’re going to get you out of this.”

“You’re honestly trying to tell me that you’ve not been threatened?” Alexander raised his eyebrows. 

“Well, no, but you —”

“There is no getting out of this, Thomas,” Alexander sighed. “Not for me, anyway. Not unless I stop publishing forever and you and I both know full well that I won’t last one week... But you — you’ve got half a chance, Thomas. So tell me, please, what did Madison say when he figured out that it was you who wrote those letters?” 

Thomas sighed. “He said — he said that if we don’t stop this, then he’ll publish that letter that they’ve got.”

Alexander nodded slowly. “So...is this it, then? The end of us?”

“I don’t want it to be,” Thomas said. 

“Well, what other choice do we have?” Alexander huffed. 

“We could leave,” Thomas said and Alexander was taken aback, his mouth falling open. Thomas may have never seen him looking as helpless as he had today, but Alexander had never seen Thomas looking this desperate — actually, he was certain that he had  _ never  _ seen Thomas Jefferson in any sort of desperation. “Alexander, please. I — I have never felt this way before, and I have never planned to feel this way! I never wanted this — this kind of love that makes me push aside my own needs, no matter how great! I never wanted to fall in love to this point where I am willing to beg for someone to stay with me but I have! I have and there is no going back, Alexander!”

“Thomas…”

“So let’s leave! We can go — we can’t go to Paris, too many people know me there, but we can go to the countryside of France and we can just live out our lives there! No one will ever know, we can just be together just the two of us!”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” Thomas demanded. “I have told you that if I knew years ago how far I was going to fall for you one day then I would never have left you and gone to France — I would have abandoned my position for you then, and I’ll certainly do it now!”

“Thomas, we can’t just leave!”   


“ _ WHY NOT?! _ ” Thomas bellowed and to Alexander’s utter astonishment he fell to his knees before him. It wasn’t the first time that Thomas Jefferson had gotten on his knees for Alexander Hamilton, but all the occasions before now had been sexual and intimate — never like this, never to beg and plead for love. 

Thomas reached out and took one of Alexander’s hands in both of his own and placed a gentle kiss to his lover’s skin. There was nothing even remotely sensual about any of this — it was all so innocent, out of desperation and longing — and Alexander thought that that was the most shocking part of it all. 

“Thomas, please get up,” Alexander frowned.

“Please don’t leave me,” Thomas pleaded. “Please.”

“I have a wife,” Alexander shook his head slowly, but he didn’t pull his hand from Thomas’s grasp. “I have children.”

“You can never truly love her,” Thomas said almost angrily and Alexander opened his mouth to yell, but Thomas beat him to it. “Not really! You know I’m right! You know I am!”

Alexander was fuming now, and yet he still didn’t pull his hand from Thomas’s. He didn’t even know why; perhaps he was preparing himself for the inevitable, preparing himself to let go forever, trying to remember what Thomas’s skin felt like against his while he still had the time to do so.

“I have a wife,” Alexander said again, as if Thomas hadn’t spoken a word. “I have to make a choice.”

“Pick me,” Thomas begged. “Choose me.  _ Love me _ .”

And then Alexander slid his hand from Thomas’s. “You should go now — before Eliza gets home.”

“Alexander —”

“You shouldn’t be here when I tell her,” Alexander said. 

“When you — when you  _ what? _ ” Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Does that mean you’re going to leave with me?”

“No,” Alexander shook his head. “I’m going to tell her, then I’m going to find a way to steal that letter back, and then I’ll be able to continue writing in  _ The New York Post _ . Madison and Burr will have no proof to offer the public, and nothing to hold over me because Eliza will already know.”

“But, Alexander —”

“Go, Thomas.”

“But —”

“Go. Now.”

**And so, finding that he had no other choice, Thomas rose to his feet, looked back at him with a fleeting glance as if trying to memorize every dip and curve and edge of his face, and then he turned and left the only person to ever make him feel desperate. **


End file.
